Marriage...a commitment made between 2 people to love and cherish each other until the day you die...or eternity. What happens when the cherish part disappears or becomes opaque and you don't feel cherished any longer.
What happens when your spouse no longer cares how your day went? You just pass each other in the hall and the only time you touch is in bed? Is that when you decide you need marriage counseling because, something isn't right. Or is that when you need a break.
A break from Life. A break from the stresses your job and surrounding put on you and create you to become blinded. A break to re-connect.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night with this dream. It wasn't a bad dream, it was a dream about me...singing the national anthem at the top of my lungs on the back of a pick-up truck with a microphone. It was almost like a country parade. I sang it from my heart with every bit of strength that I had. And afterwards, I woke up...my blood was pumping and adrenaline going through my body. It felt so real. And then I realized, I hadn't got on a stage and sang since I was a little girl. Then I got thinking why would I have this dream?
I believe I had this dream because I don't think my husband knows me. He knows me as a mother, but not as a person. I love doing silly things. I love to dance and sing. I love to fly to a city to experience the world. I don't like to watch that much tv because it is boring. I love photography and at times, I look for help.
Yes, marriage is hard and I probably wont be able to leave this post up very long because I don't want to offend. I want to break through this hard spot, lack of communication. That is what we all want to do in marriage, and it takes 2...to love and cherish until the day you die.
This is what I will do.
About Me
- Bethany
- Hello! I am Bethany, a mom of 4 beautiful children, a owner of a dog, and married to a miner/hunter. (Camo is a popular color in our home). We recently relocated to the UP of Michigan from Juneau,Alaska...a huge adjustment. I have a passion for photography and documenting our journey through life. But, most of the time Im busy with my kids, hiding in the bathroom for peace and quiet, or trying to find my dog because he runs away all the time. Welcome to our world...always full of adventure.
4 comments:
talk to him, let him know that is how you are feeling. I think there are times in relationships where the cherish part gets pushed to the side of everyday life. But it is the cherish part that makes life and relationships so wonderful.
it is kind of a hard thing to talk about, because you want to be feel cared for without having to tell your spouse he needs to care(or vice versa), but sometimes we all need a reminder about the important things we may be neglecting.
I think you wrote this post because you didn't want you feelings to stay trapped up inside you, where it just makes everything seem worse, more hopeless and lonely. I think that is a feeling that is very human, we all feel that. Share them with your husband, in a kind and non-critical way, because the goal in marriage is for both to cherish and feel cherished.
thanks for sharing. I hope it helped to get your feelings out and organized.
I agree with what Brooklet said.
Every marriage goes through hard times. Being able to talk to each other about what each is feeling and needs is the key. This can be done in a loving, but serious way. Problems don't just go away, they have to be faced and worked out together.
Each partner can compromise. I really believe finding activities to enjoy as a couple helps bring fun back into the equation.
You both can do this!!!!
Beth... marriage is hard, however if you don't talk and tell each other your "needs" you both won't know what to work on in your marriage. Occasionally I will ask David "What do I need to work on to meet your needs?" sometimes it will be something easy to do other times it will be hard. And sometimes I feel like I am the only one working on the marriage. I will be praying for you friend..
I agree with everything that each of your friends said. I also understand the need to open up and comunicate with someone. Yet saying that, and this is ment with love.....You do realize how hurt your husband gets when you blog about very private matters (expecially when you haven't even talked to him about it). So you really should talk to the one who really matters, your husband, and maybe call one of these very good friends and talk to them instead of blogging about it. Then both parties are not hurt and you still get the friendship advice that you need.
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